Because you deserve it!
There is nothing wrong with putting yourself first every now and again. In fact it is recommended and will definitely help you to be a better Mom, wife and human. You cannot be these things when you are running on empty.
If you are like me, living this crazy life we live...Juggling Mom life and work life, while trying to put a healthy meal on the table each night, look sexy for my husband, put the washing on, make babas' lunch for school the next day, read 20 million stories at bed time and still have time to shower, brush your teeth and get into bed before 11pm at night...then you have to PLAN! We need to consciously plan this time and fit it in whenever we have a minute to breath. If we don't plan it won't happen and that is just a reality. So make your list, plan your time and fit it all in! YOU time should not be sacrificed. There is always a few minutes to spare each day and on some days even a few hours don't waste this precious time and don't keep putting your well being at the end of the queue.
We need to consciously plan this time and fit it in whenever we have a minute to breath. If we don't plan it won't happen and that is just a reality. So make your list, plan your time and fit it all in! YOU time should not be sacrificed.
Here is my ME TIME list and why these things are important to me. Take what you want add what you want and create your special YOU TIME list. And use it! Start today by any means possible, ask your hubbie for help to watch the kids for a few moments or wake up early and have some time to fit in a run or yoga time, or even just steal those 10 minutes you are on your own, to have a cup of tea and reflect on your day. But whatever you do start today, your precious Mama bear soul deserves it.
1. Date night once a month!
Ok, I like to scheduled three separate date nights every month. One is with my man, this can be anything from an actual dinner out together, at a restaurant, with make up and a pretty dress (I love this because it is just the best to feel like a sexy woman and not just a Mama bear with boogers on your shirt) or just an after dinner glass of wine and catch up in your pj's after the kids have gone to bed. It is not about anything big or fancy, just about re-connecting with the one you love. This is important and we always have the best time together when we make the time for this. (We often do this more than once a month because we feel it is so important to us) The next one is a a date night with my gurls. I always, always, always priorities my family above anything else and before I set this special time aside, my girlfriends often took a backseat. And this was just the worst because not only do you need that girl time of gossip, wine and girly talk to re-charge your woman battery, your girlfriends also need to know that they are a priority in your life. So we do a book club, once a month and it is just fantastic. I look forward to it the whole month and it really does keep me going. The next is a ME date. A date with myself cause I keep awesome company, hee hee. This night for me is normally on a Wednesday when the Hubster goes off to play soccer with his guys and once my little angle is fast asleep I use the time for me. I usually take a long, hot bath, put on a face mask, watch a girly movie and do my nails or some other sort of beautification. And let me tell you I love and savor this time! (I also usually do this once a week but you really should do it at least once a month , more if you can)
2. Take the time (when you can) to do something that fills your cup (even if just for 10 minutes)
These are the little things that make a big difference to your mood. Something small that will lift your spirit and fill your cup, fast. Have a nice cup of or glass of wine if that's what you fancy. Watch a show or series that you love. Write in your journal. Play a game with your little one. Play a game on your phone. Do a few yoga poses or breathing exercises. Listen to an inspirational podcast. Play with your pet. Call your friend or your Mama for a chat. Whatever these 10 minutes look like start to consciously plan these moments into your day. This is literally just a 10 minute power up. Its something you can do fast that will make you smile. And these are the things you do whenever you have a few spare moments.
3. Look after yourself!
This is so important for me! When I feel and look good, everything becomes more manageable. Trust girl. Take the time to do this one. It really does help. And this is a two part sort of thing. First you need to look after your health. Exercise and eat well. Its as simple and complected as that. Take time every day to go for a run or spend some time in the gym, if you cant get alone time to do this cause your mini mes depend on you, get your kids to help you out with this. You can have a dance party in the lounge with your kids, play catches in the garden, play a game of soccer on challenge them to a personalized circuit. There is always time and always a way to get the blood flowing and this is so important for your health and general well-beige. And a eating plan or even just eating healthy and balanced is also key top making you feel great every day. This sometimes takes some careful planning and that is ok, it will be worth it. You need to plan your daily meals and snacks to prevent any impulse and binge eating that will set you back from your goal. Maybe set a day to plan and even make and pre-pack your meals and snacks for the week. Water is also a huge part of this. For me this is a 2liter water bottle at my desk, I will get through about 3 of those a day. Your body will that you. Your bladder may not. Ok the second part of this, once you have your health and body on track with a great exercise and meal plan, next you need to treat yo' self! Girl, go and paint your nails and do your hair! Whether you go and have a wash and blow out done professionally or even if you just do it yourself, get your hair did gurl! Do your brows, shave your legs, put your make up on, do whatever it is that makes you feel fierce!!! This is not about what others do or what others wear, it has nothing to do with anyone else but you! What makes you feel fabulous, what makes you feel your most beautiful self...that is what you need to do here. And let me tell you, if you do this, you will walk out that door into the world everyday, feeling and looking like a million bucks.
4. Get some fresh air.
This needs to be done every day. Whether it is incorporated into your exercise regime, like a run on the beachfront or a walk in the park with your dogs, or even if its just sitting in your garden enjoying a cup of tea. Nature re-charges, it reminds you to breath. I love to take an afternoon walk with my daughter when I get a chance. And in Summer our family basically lives on the beach. Sun, sea and sand really gives me a boost to start an new day. For others may be taking a hike in a beautiful forest or doing some yoga and meditation in a pretty garden or even a cycle in a scenic area in town. Whatever type of outdoors you like, take the time and soak up some nature.
5. Say no and ask for help!!!
This is a big one. We as Moms often try to do it all. We hate to complain and are so hard on ourselves if we are struggling to be the all round, everything, perfect Mom and Wife. We hate to say no and always try to be yes people even when it is to our own detriment! Ladies it is ok to say no, it is ok to ask for help, it does not make you less. It makes you smart!!!! Burn out is a real thing and you will be no help to anyone when you do burn out. So please, please, please use your voice, trust me, it will be ok. Better yet, it will be fantastic! I constantly ask the Hubster for help (and I am lucky because he is incredible), and my family, specifically my Mom and Dad, are also on the top of my list when I need them, they are amazing and will literally drop anything for me. If you do not have the support of your family, friends are also a great source of support. Ask for help and in turn let them know when they need you, you are there for them. We need our people.
6. Keep your spirit content.
Your soul also needs some time and love. Don't forget about your spirit just because it has a quiet voice. Whether it is journaling, meditation, yoga, praying, gardening, whatever it is that makes your soul sing, do more of that. I like to journal and blog it centers me. It gives me purpose and really anchors me to who I am and what uis important to me. That makes my soul sing. But I also love bath time (if done right, it can be a spiritual experience for me) and car drives with music blaring. (Don't ask me why but something about driving alone in my car singing at the top of my lungs and jamming out to one of my favorite songs song, just makes me feel like I can conquer the world).
7. Do something you love.
Take time to do something you love. This one is about not loosing your hobbies. All those fabulous things you used to do when you actually had time. The things that make you you. Cook. Paint. Sing. Write. Scrapbook. Shop. Dive. Surf. Whatever it was, that before kids and marriage, you used to do if your free time for fun...schedule some time for that. For me it is reading, writing and cooking.
8. Get your zzzzz
This is a tough one when you have a baby like me. And I am and always have been a night owl. I struggle to get to sleep, so I have to work on this everyday to get the right amount of sleep for my body to thrive. But getting the right amount of sleep is so so important for your health and well being and just for your general sate of mind. When you are tiered and sleep deprived, your body suffers, your work suffers and most important your family suffers. So please try to get in those zzzz, wherever and however you can. I work on this everyday because my mind struggles to switch off. The Hubster is asleep before his head even hits the pillow and World War 3 could not wake him once he is asleep. Me on the other hand, I can lie for hours trying to solve the world problems in my head and once I do finally fall asleep, even just a tiny peep will wake me. Its crazy. Sorry I don't have much advice on how to rectify this if you suffer from this form of insomnia as I am still working on this in my life right now. (Any advice will be welcome)
9.Organize something.
This one is specifically for me and my fellow perfectionists out there. I am slightly OCD. I love order, lists, plans and neatness. Clean lines and clutter free areas, are like a drug to me...they just makes me feel soooo gooooood! So if I am feeling low or need some centering I organize something, because organisation makes me feel like I have my life in order and I am in control of things. It can be anything, from my bedroom closet, my mess / clutter draw (you know we all have one) or even just my handbag or car interior. This tiny act really just gives me that boost I need and keeps my chi feeling great. Also for me I do a 5 minute clean up of my house every single evening before i go to bed. So when my baby has gone down and my husband is showering or watching a show. I will do a quick clean up. Every single night. Its not actually cleaning, its more things like putting the washing in the hamper, picking up the toys the baby left lying around, putting shoes and ironed clothes in the closet, neatening the counter tops, straightening the carpet, hanging towels in the bathroom neatly and fluffing the pillows. For me everything in my house has a place and in this time I return everything to its home. So each new morning its like a refresh. When I walk through and the house looks a amazing. This for me is an really important way to start my day. Mess and clutter will immediately put me in a bad state of mind and I don't like to start my day like that. So this is just something I like to do.
10.Put your phone down.
This one, in this day and age, is so difficult to do. But we as, a society, spend too much time on our devises. Too much time on social media. Too much time detached for the real world right in front of us. Well that's my two cents at least. I want ot be more engaged in my life right in front of me. With the people I am with and with my child. I want to teach her that devices, tv, games, social media and all that stuff we are bombarded with in the world we live in today, these things are not important. Time spent with family and friends is important. Talking to each other about our day is important. Eating together as a family is important. Playing outside in the sunshine and dirt is important. Human connection is important. That's what I want to teach my baby as she grown us in this fast pace world. Don't get me wrong, I am not asking you to disconnect the TV and leave all social media platforms. That's just crazy talk! (Unless that's what you want to do, in that case, more power to you). But for me, it is all about moderation. I want less of that stuff and more of the important stuff. I want to spend less time checking Instagram on what other people are doing and more time playing in the garden with my kid. I want to spend less time with cartoons on the TV and more time in the kitchen and teaching her to cook. Less time in bed in the dark with my nose in Facebook and more time chatting or cuddling my husband. That's is what I mean when I say put down your phone. We have so many other more valuable things to be doing with our time.
I hope this has helped you or if not, at least inspired you to create your own list of things you need to do to put yourself first and help you to feel like the well balanced, extra fabulous super human that you are.
“Caring for your body, mind, and spirit is your greatest and grandest responsibility. It's about listening to the needs of your soul and then honoring them.” Kristi Ling
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