Omg, please someone save me...
The first few days and weeks of a newborn you will experience some of the highest highs and lowest lows of your entire life Your emotions will sky rocket to a utopia of pure joy and bliss and you will then immediately be plummeted into the deepest despair you have ever experienced. Its tough guys...this is no joke.
Crash course parenting As a mother I soon learnt we are naturally riddled with an instinct, hormones and emotions that immediately equip us to get the job done. Learning how to handle things like feedings, nappy changes and burping seemed to come fast and naturally. It was wonderful. I was so sure of myself and so confident that I was bowled over when suddenly things seemed to get harder. (Newborns are easy! Don't be fooled tougher times are ahead. Prepare yourself.)
The night time feedings where exhausting. Worst was that she then didn't want to sleep afterwards. Which would often take me to the edge of sanity on those dark, lonely nights. I couldn't get her to burp so she would lie awake uncomfortable and screaming. Sleep became something that was unfamiliar in our household. The Hubster and I were like two ships passing the the night, we never ate together, or went to bed together and when we actually had the energy to talk to each other, it was about poop, or spit up or some other substance that was coming form our wriggling child. I was an emotional wreck. I could literally not handle my own emotions and I could easily go from hysterical laughing one second to uncontrollable sobbing in the next. Without even knowing why. Showering, brushing our teeth and eating a balanced meal became a luxury. One that we could often not afford. You never leave the house because the house is your safe zone. You forget what if feels like to look pretty and feel clean and human.
The Hubster and I were like two ships passing the the night, we never ate together, or went to bed together and when we actually had the energy to talk to each other, it was about poop, or spit up or some other substance that was coming form our wriggling child.
Why did no one tell me about this part? Where is everyone now that I need help? And why the hell would anyone have kids if this is what its all about?
I really went through some dark, dark days and nights. Those first three months are so difficult. And when you are in the thick of it, with vomit on your pajama shirt, poop on your slippers and like 3kg duffel bags under your eyes, you really cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel. But I can promise you, it gets better, it gets easier and you do become a normal functioning adult again. So if you are there, in this 3 month / newborn hell, take this little spark of light that I am giving you and hold onto it and keep Momming...After about 3 months you the clouds will lift, I promise.
And when you are in the thick of it, with vomit on your pajama shirt, poop on your slippers and like 3kg duffel bags under your eyes, you really cannot see the light at the end of the tunnel.
Don't get me wrong...
Look don't get me wrong, its not all doom and gloom...like I said you will be experiencing some of your greatest highs along with these nebulous lows. Everything your child does will make your heart want to explode. All you will want to do is talk about them. Like why on earth would anyone want to speak about anything else!? They will fart and you will want to shout it to the neighbors. Your phone will permanently be running out of space and you would have documented every tiny square inch of their perfect, little body. They will sneeze and you will scramble for your phone to video the sound, because it is just the most heart melting sound you have ever heard. And no matter how exhausted you are, after they fall asleep in your arms you will sit there for hours just watching them sleep, because, my God they are so perfect when they are sleeping. These are just a few things that will take you to the extremes of the happiness scale. (That's not even mentioning the baby smell!! I could sniff my baby's head for days. That smell is like crack cocaine) Trust me there are millions more of these little gold nuggets that I could write down. But these are the things everyone always talks about when we talk about newborns. No one mentions the darkness that comes along with it. And I just think that if we had to let new Moms know...that it is going to be really hard at times and you are going to feel really overwhelmed and alone some days, but this is not permanent. This too will pass. Then maybe it will make the darkness a little easier to handle?
And no matter how exhausted you are, after they fall asleep in your arms you will sit there for hours just watching them sleep, because, my God they are so perfect when they are sleeping.
You are now suddenly responsible for a human life. These tiny creatures are completely reliant on you. Every single second of every single day. This is a momentous thing and it takes time to re-adjust and re-align your old life into this new one. But let me tell you, you could not get a more rewarding and satisfying job in the world then raising and nurturing your child. It is going to bring you a joy you have never even conceived. But remember you are human too. Cut yourself some slack. Your are allowed to cry, scream and feel any way you want to feel. This job is not easy. It is one of the hardest, but wow the rewards are so worth all of the darkest days you experience.
"Getting a burp out of your little thing is probably the greatest satisfaction I've come across. It's truly one of life's most satisfying moments."
Brad Pitt
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